In 2003, Hollywood tried to get “Terminator” going again with “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.” They couldn’t get Cameron, but they got Arnold, some decent actors, and a journeyman director. It’s actually a better movie than you remember (I’m a full-on apologist for this film), but it still under-performed at the box office, raking in about 20 percent less than the last one which came out over a decade before (and that’s before you adjust for inflation). So they scrapped plans for a new trilogy and walked away.
In 2008, they decided to take a crack at television with “The Sarah Connor Chronicles.” The show was well-reviewed and well thought of, but its ratings never took off and it was canned after one and a half seasons. So they scrapped plans for future seasons and walked away.
In 2009, McG decided he had a gritty new take with “Terminator: Salvation,” set entirely in an (admittedly gorgeous) post-apocalyptic wasteland. He decided not to bother with Arnold, but did get Christian Bale and Bryce Dallas Howard on board (among others), cast Sam Worthington because that was just a thing you did back then, and got cracking on a story that followed John Connor. It was panned by absolutely everyone, and managed to make even less than “Rise of the Machines” or “Judgment Day” (again not adjusted for inflation). So they scrapped plans for a new trilogy and walked away.
In 2015, Skydance–hot off successful reboots of “Star Trek” and “Mission Impossible”–teamed with Annapurna (who acquired the rights) and decided it was time for another go: “Terminator: Genisys,” this time with Arnold again. They hired a dude who directed a bunch of “Game of Thrones,” cast Emilia Clarke and Jai Courtney (this decade’s Sam Worthington), and told a time travel story so baffling that it was genuinely hilarious watching the trailers try to elevator pitch it to you. They also came up with hands-down the worst subtitle of all time, further proof that being Google-able isn’t everything. The reviews were scorched-Earth, and the box office failed to break $100 million in the states; even with strong international sales, it still fell short of a movie that was now almost thirty years old. So they scrapped plans for a new trilogy and walked away.
… Are you noticing a pattern here?
Now it’s 2019, and they are back again with another reboot: “Terminator: Dark Fate.” Because they’ve tried literally everything else, they have now lured James Cameron back, albeit only in a producing role. They hired Tim Miller, director of “Deadpool,” which makes sense because the “Terminator” franchise is definitely known for its meta humor (????). They got Arnold again, and they also talked Linda Hamilton into returning. The trailers treat her return like the Second Coming of Christ, and I really enjoy watching anyone under 25 furrow their brow at this and go “who is this woman and why are they acting like I’m amped to see her?” I was in a packed movie theater the other day, and they rolled out a ten minute preview of “Dark Fate.” The reception was flat-out laughter, I swear to God. The early box office projections are already saying it’s looking like a disappointment.
My question is this: why is Hollywood so absolutely convinced that the “Terminator” franchise is their meal ticket, when there is sixteen years of evidence to the contrary? They have rebooted this damned thing FIVE TIMES, each time acting like “ok ok, but THIS time we got it.” No, you don’t. You don’t have it. Do you know why you don’t have it? Because no one CARES about these movies. Oh, plenty of people love “Terminator” and “Terminator 2,” but most of them are in their mid 30s to early 40s, and don’t go to the cinema that often. Anyone under 30 did not grow up with the “Terminator,” because there hasn’t been a good and/or successful one in that long.
If you look at the stateside box office grosses of this franchise, every film after “Terminator 2” has made less than the last one. Let me repeat that: every “Terminator” movie has made less money than the last one. The international markets were also trending downwards until “Genisys,” which bumped up a little bit, but still not enough to come anywhere close to being successful. No matter what they tell you about “actually it did pretty good,” no it didn’t. Know how I know? Because they KEEP REBOOTING IT. If any of these had made anyone any money, they’d have made a sequel. Hell, these people made a second “Jack Reacher” movie with Tom Cruise! That’s how low the bar is, and “Terminator” cannot clear it.
But that’s not the only reason this is stupid. The other one is that the “Terminator” franchise has never had the emotional pull of other franchises. People aren’t invested in this world, no matter how much they may love the first two movies. Don’t believe me? Google “Terminator Fan Fiction,” or “Terminator Cosplay.” What you’ll find is the closest Google ever gets to crickets. There’s some out there, but compared to franchises that are actually bankable, it’s pathetic.
There’s no aspirational quality to this universe. In “Harry Potter,” you want to be a wizard, in “Fast and Furious” you want to be a car thief; what do you want to be in “Terminator,” a cyborg? A resistance fighter maybe, but there’s no ethos to them, nothing to attach to or identify with, they’re just “Vague Future Soldier No. 5.” It’s time to admit this concept was great for two movies and okay for a third, then pretty much useless after that. If anyone manages to make a good “Terminator” movie, it will be because they invented something completely different and just called it “Terminator” so an executive at Paramount could keep their job if it bombed. That is how this industry works.
Come to think of it, there’s actually a THIRD reason this won’t work: almost every reboot has fundamentally been the same movie. They’re all four-quadrant, anodyne sci-fi action designed to appeal to everyone and excite no one. None of them feel anything like the first two, which were honestly more like horror flicks than “Die Hard.” Have you ever noticed that “Terminator” and “Terminator 2” take place almost entirely at night, but the sequels are always dominated by daytime? That tells you everything. Of course, “Dark Fate” makes a big deal of its R rating, but twenty bucks says they tossed a few F-bombs on top of the same old CGI action that everyone does but only Marvel ever does well (and even they screw it up a fair amount).
I’m not saying you shouldn’t make a “Terminator” movie, necessarily, I’m just annoyed at all the great IPs that are stuck in purgatory because of one bad opening weekend, while this evergreen failson of a franchise keeps getting second chances. “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World” is a flat-out masterpiece that didn’t set the box office on fire, how about another one of those? “Mad Max: Fury Road” was a generational classic that made about what “Terminator” makes these days, I’d kill for a sequel. “Blade Runner 2049” genuinely did well for an R-rated sequel to a cult hit, and yet hell will freeze over before Hollywood will give me another. “Dredd” was dope AF and cheap to make, but nope, not happening. “Galaxy Quest.” “The Crow.” Freaking “Tron!” These franchises underperform and execs treat them like they have leprosy.
But not “Terminator.” “Terminator” gets to keep coming back, over and over. WHY. WHY THIS ONE. The reality is, Hollywood isn’t the facts-driven business it pretends to be. Some franchises just feel to people like they’re money-makers. It sounds like a good idea to the right people, so it keeps happening. And when it fails, they don’t toss it on the heap with literally everything else that isn’t owned by Disney, they blame themselves: “You know why it bombed? We need Arnold.” “Okay that one with Arnold bombed, but hey, what if we got a big A-list star?” “Okay that A-list star didn’t help, let’s get Arnold back AND let’s get some of ‘Game of Thrones’ people, everyone loves them.” “Well, damn it, what’s James Cameron doing right now?”
Let me pitch you the real future of this franchise: Blumhouse. The company behind “Insidious,” “The Purge,” the most recent “Halloween,” and countless other budget friendly horror/thriller hits. These people are stone-cold geniuses, they make fun movies that are incapable of bombing. Hire them to go make a $10-20 million horror reboot of the franchise. Make it so cheap it can’t help but turn a profit, and make it dark and intense like the original was. Forget the Connors, forget Arnold. Go get a hard R rating and release it around Halloween. Will it set the world on fire? No. Will it turn an ungodly profit because your financial risk was so low? You better believe it.
And make another “Master and Commander,” damn you.